Smeagol wants to walk today, but it’s raining. So I just talk – and he listens. He’s not mine, he belongs to my daughter. I feed him, so that he isn’t tempted to eat me in my sleep. I find myself petting him occasionally – mostly, he just finds my hand and pushes himself back and forth on it.

Today, he’s listening to one of my favorite theories about early man. I’m big into ancient anthropology, and as far as I can tell, Smeagol is too.

I’m infatuated with what they call the “Great Awakening.” About 50,000 years ago, or, one hundred grandfathers back, we all kind of just suddenly “stepped above” the other animals, and began to show some of the signs of true humanity.

There’s a lot of intelligent debate about the little precise details of the wheres and the whys, but all the eggheads agree that we humans were nomad predators, traveling in groups of 8 to 30 people, mostly related by birth, following the huge migration patterns of large herbivores like mammoths and antelopes. When two groups ran into each other, there might be little skirmishes – but nothing like organized war. See, there was no land to fight over; everyone was mobile. It was much more likely that trading would take place between two tribes – decorative beads traded for spear points, or extra stores of honey traded for dried meat, et cetera. And people themselves would change groups.

Just imagine – the vast iceberg of our history, had no nations, no boundaries, no races, no organized religion, no prisons and no money.

We know they had compassion, and altruistic behavior. Complex burial plots prove that they had feelings for each other, deep feelings that lasted long after death. I find that very comforting. Also, analyzing the bones at some of these burial sites proves conclusively to forensic experts that some individuals lived a very long time with injuries that would have made them unable to care for themselves. They cared for the sick and the weak. I find this sad – that an upper paleolithic man had better health coverage, than I do.

Sometimes gray wolves would follow a tribe of humans, to gnaw on the garbage we left behind. (Smeagol ! Get OUT of the trash !)

We can only imagine how THAT relationship grew. But recent studies in Russia with foxes has shown clearly that there is a mammalian gene that makes some animals more, for lack of a better term, “People Friendly.” Strangely, but fortunately, this gene is bundled together with another gene that causes a “blaze,” a patch of white fur on an otherwise dark coat. I have heard this same old wive’s tale repeated many times by un-scientific farmers and animal breeders, so it’s pretty easy to believe that animals with a Blaze, are easier to train. (insert Glenn Beck joke, here.)

Now, the gray wolf evolving from hungry groupie, to hunting companion, is again just speculation, but it’s very easy to believe. We see this exact same type of inter-species cooperation throughout the animal kingdom, even among fish and insects. I mean, dogs have the speed, stamina, and sense of smell to easily track and locate big game – but they have trouble killing it. Humans, as predators, are weak at locating prey, but are efficient killers. And a big antelope or mammoth would be enough to feed man and wolf easily, for a long time.

Personally, I like to think that some human finally suggested, “Hey, why don’t we just follow the fucking dogs, today, instead of stumbling stupid through the jungle ?” But, more likely, it was the dogs who exploited the human. Either way, I can easily picture the scene, 30 thousand years ago, on some wind-swept hill, after a man and his dog had run a deer to exhaustion, he makes the kill, and collapses down beside the dog, both of them spent, and content, together as friends.

Well I don’t have to guess anymore. A burial has been unearthed in Europe, with three canine skulls placed purposely in a grave site. One skull is definitely a wolf’s, and the other two are unmistakably dog like. To date, this is the oldest example of dogs and humans being contemporary, and helps to support the idea that humans and dogs were not only hunting partners, but friends.

There’s more: Inside the mouth of one of the buried dog skulls, another bone had been gingerly placed: the bone of a mammoth. Something to tide him over. . . . Jesus. Even back then, a man could be broken-hearted over an animal.

The man loved his dog.

C’mon, Smeagol. Let me get the leash, I’ll follow you. . . . No, asshole, I’m not crying. Shut up and Lead. I’m not crying, That’s just the rain.